Shuffle Run Thursday

In case you haven't noticed, I love characters dearly and am lucky enough to attract pah-lenty of them in my normal day to day life. As time goes by, I have almost become immuned to the unexpected, but certainly do not take it for granted. Oh no no. I love them all.

I work during the day in an office and it is pretty typical. Cubes and conference rooms and coffee and phones ringing and no, the phone is never for me, but for the five sales reps that sit behind me and sell ads all day. If there is the slight chance that someone is calling for me, it is either my mom, Chia, or Hen.

After hearing horror stories from my friend Nina about how terrible one of her last office jobs was, I was petrified entering the office workforce. I'm the type of person who has no problem being alone if I don't find anyone I really click with. That may appear to be isolating and weird, which may be true. But thats me. What can you do? In present situation, I lucked out where everyone has been super welcoming and while they are all good friends, seem happy to include whoever. There isn't really anyone who I loathe or get really angry with when I see them. And to top it off, we have a few characters in the office and that is where this blog is leading to, in case you were wondering : )

By far my favorite characters in the office include:

The Cowboy: He works in my cubicle island, has the greatest Texas accent, and wears Levi's and cowboy boots.

Hushpuppy: Yes he wears hush puppies. I've seen so far white and brownish-beige ones. And he is usually decked out in the best colorful and coordinated outfits, very Stanford Blanche from Sex & The City. He's great

Oh, you know what, there is one person that makes me cringe...and that would be"The Mystery Cougher". He isn't full time here at the office and usually works from home. The only reason I dislike his presence is because he coughs all day long. And it's one of those explosive coughs thats coming from the bottom of his feet. Oh its the worst. And while on the phone, he punches his desk (I'm assuming in the heat of passion or just being so engrossed in what he's trying to sell)! Fine fine, punch away, except, OH THAT'S RIGHT, he sits at the cube behind me and by his punching, causes my entire desk to shake. I seriously want to cry when he comes in because it just means that he will be shaking my desk for the entire day.

The best office character though is Shuffle-Runner, and yes you guessed it, he does not walk. I don't know if he is capable of doing so, but shuffle runs all through the office. You always know where he is by the sweet sound of, how do you explain it, hmm, as if someone was rubbing a balloon on a carpet. Everytime he run along, I can't help but wonder how many electric shocks he gets once he eventually gets back to his desk

He is the type of person who enjoys weird conversations, but is also a frantic whisperer, so you end up just laughing and saying, "oh hhhaa yeah, right, oh yeah I know I know..haha right right, ok good bye".

Last Thursday, I was in the media room making thousands of copies when all of a sudden, who shuffles in to make copies... yeah you guessed it! Shuffle Runner! We get into a conversation about tattoos because I have some and he mumbled/whispered something about making his own.

SR: Well I have enough scars to consider them to be a tattoo

KC: Oh? Why? What does that mean?

SR: Well one time I was snorkeling in Belize...

KC: (I'm assuming here is when I formed a "oooo lucky, why haven't I gone snorkeling in Belize face/pout)

SR:....when out of nowhere a boat pulled up to where we were snorkeling...

SR: ....and they dumped some garbage on me....

KC: (WHAT!!!!)

SR: And then a shark came and mistook me for garbage and bit me.

KC: WHAT THE HELL (while dropping all thousand papers onto the floor). How are you still standing here!! How did you get the shark away??

SR: Welll everyone I was swimming with left me because they didn't want to get bit too.

KC: ARE YOU KIDDING ME!

So he continued about two more minutes of this story, which included details such as "two hundred stitches" and "ripping through my shoulder like butter", and I had enough and sprinted to my desk to tell anyone I was chatting with mid-day about this random story.

Unanswered questions:

a) How did he survive? I mean how do you get away from a shark? That just mind-boggles me.

b) How do you stay friends with people when they leave you in the mercy of a shark?

c) How does getting bit by a shark have anything to do with getting tattoos?

d) How did I not hear this story SOONER!

The Word Of The Day Is Harry Potter!

A long time ago, when Harry Potter was still brand new to the world, I made a vow to myself to never get included in the HP hoopla-craze. How could I, a well read and maybe 22 year old or so at the time, ever like a book that children too loved? I would laugh at the people over the years who dressed up as their favorite characters for the new book release parties and movie premieres. Haha not me. No no nevvvver.

Skip forward to I'm guessing 2006-ish, when my friend Chiarina met & fell in love with Harry and I probably and I assume I said, "Nooooo! Why?? How??What"! And she happily stated to the world that no only was Harry Potter her favorite books series, but also her favorite movies. Chia pleaded with me to give him a chance. She would try to get me to come over her house for Harry Potter movie nights and ploy the books off onto me, saying, "just read one of them! Just try!" And I would firmly say, "nah, I don't think so, meh meh, blah blah." She wanted me to try it out before I was so hasty to judge. And now looking back, I did hate on HP for no reason. I knew nothing about the story or the characters OR how amazing and wonderful the story is.

Oh yeah, by the way, I am currently OBSESSED with Harry Potter. Yup, Chia and Jay (her bf at the time, now fiance, who also happens to be one of my close friends as well) got me to watch the movies, where I stubbornly said, "yeah, they were pretty good, FINE I'll take some books", as if doing them a favor. But once one and two were done, I HUNGERED for more.

Do you want to know what I did last night? At the height of my Harry Potter craze, I not only watched "Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban", but then I finished reading "Harry Potter & Order of The Phoenix"! And yes, both made me cry!

So now onto book 6 and then book 7, meaning the Harry Potter series will be over for me. Is it weird that this is something I fear and get deeply saddened over? That after reading the books, I feel so bad for Harry and want to give him a hug? Yes, I think its crazy too...

But we still have the new movies to look forward to.

Now the next issue is deciding who (Chia, Jay, or I) gets to dress like Harry for the next movie premier. I think I'll give them Harry if I can be Ron. Or maybe Hagrid.

The Stalker Edition

Today was pretty much like any other soberly-full night slept morning. Got to the city around 8, early I know, because I had to buy a new phone (wooo, blackberry). I leisurely walked my way through the crowds of tourists in Times Square, passed by the sounds of Chris Brown singing in the Plaza, and treated myself to a flavored coffee.

But today was a little different. I was standing on the corner of 47th and Broadway, waiting for the light to change, and there he was. I haven't really been blown away by some one's beauty in a long time, so I swear, he took me completely off guard.

He was tall and surfer lean. Hot. hot hot hot. He kinda looked like Nate from "Gossip Girl", but the surfer not-so-pretty version. He casually strolled along to work, carrying a large bottle of water and broken in paperback book. So what did I do? Yeah, you guessed it. I followed him and basically lurked behind him for a good block or so.

I know, I know. What was the point of the chase? It wasn't like I was going to say anything. And what did I expect? That he would turn around and be blown away by my beauty and just NEED to know me. Turned out not only was he beautiful, but had a sick personality and awesome sense of humor? Three weeks later, we would be happily in love and planning our wedding?

Sigh

Just say I did manage to get Beach Nate, it would obviously be a disaster because I'd be so intimidated by his beauty. Everytime we'd get together, I'd be super awkward, clumsy, and never making any sense..... unless I had a cocktail or two. Beach Nate would lose interest because he would not want to date a girl who only wanted to go for drinks and if he could get me to a sober function, it would be pointless because I wouldn't be capable of making a normal or complete sentence.

I swear, what a joke of a life I lead...and I say that it in the best possible way

Free Lunch Tuesday & Why I Don't Mind So Much Being Poor

As a low-paid advertising assistant, you could only imagine how much I like free things. Lucky for me (and the rest of the NYC assistants), the city is full of promotions. May in particular was a great month for freeness. There were free coffee Wednesdays at Starbucks, in which I happily traveled to all 5 or so locations around my office for a coffee. I don't think I even needed that 3rd of 4th cup, but my brain kept on chanting , "free! Free! Go get it, it's free!". Fine, you win.

But the best, by far the best freeness was at The Volstead (54th and Lexington). To promote their lunch menu and to get us workers nearby to realize they actually had lunch there, TV decided to do FREE LUNCH Tuesdays for the entire month of May. E & I were seriously beside ourselves. I suppose we weren't really the right people to be going, considering (if you have read previous posts, you probably heard about the pathetic lunches we usually conger up) we don't go out to lunch and if so, go for the cheapness-on-the run, not sit down high-end meals. But whatever, we travel to the freeness, so finally after weeks of being turned away, got in on the last Tuesday. And it was wonderful. Seriously.

We started with these little pieces of toasted Italian-ish bread, topped with a spinach dip and thinly sliced pieces of steak. I have had this before at the Volstead (my friend Nina works there, so have gone a few times) and it is amazing. SO tasty. We also had tempura salmon rolls, which was ok. I don't think I'd ever order it again (and definitely not pay) but it was good to try.

Then for lunch, I had a pulled pork sandwich and E had a lobster roll. Thank you thank you Volstead! I figure we deserved to eat heartily because if you put together all the years I've been contributing to the mother company (they own Red and Downtown in Red Bank, and P.S. etc. in the city) have put out lots and lots of $$ their way. So there.

Before going to lunch that day, E sent me this link from an article in NY Times about people, like her & I, as well as many friends I have, about the 20-somethings who even though don't make alot of money, learn to make it stretch to live in this area.


http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/25/nyregion/25scrimp.html?pagewanted=2&ei=5087&em&en=3a026e390ef12a77&ex=1212033600


I have very mixed emotions after reading this article. The idea is great. I think it is very reassuring to us low-paiders to know we aren't alone and there is still hope, even though you aren't actually raking in the money.

BUT. The people NY Times chose to profile didn't seem to be realistic. You got
(a) the girl who shipped her clothes back and forth. That is not typical. Who does that? Just her. (b) the guy who makes 60k a year and was still complaining. Um I'd be skipping back and forth to work every day if I made that much. Come on.
(c) the chick who ate peanuts for dinner and consciencely resorted to flirting for drinks? Come on sister, where's your dignity. Sure, it's always a nice perk as a girl to get a free drink. But lowering yourself to save $7-$15 (depending on what your drinking and where), your can do a lot better.

But there were some super great & realistic things stated in this article that I actually said out loud ---omg that's me.

"Some tactics have long been chronicled: sharing tiny apartments with strangers. Sharing those apartments with eight strangers. Eating cheap lunches and skipping dinners — not just to save money, but so that drinks pack more of a punch and fewer need be consumed."

So here are some of my tips to live well and work in the city, how I keep myself healthy and fed, but still have a dollar or two in my pocket.

Food
You have to be creative and not mind eating the same things everyday. I buy a box of oatmeal every week and a half or so and make myself a pouch every morning. Lucky for me, coffee is free here at the office, so that saves a few dollars a day.

Then for a mid-morning snack, I'll usually have a big orange, which is 75 cents from the fruit man on the corner outside my building.

Lunch is peanut butter & jelly, or left overs from the night before and a bag of pretzels.

THEN dinner. I will usually go to A&P and buy bags of veggies (which usually go for a $1.50 or so), steam them, and mix it all up with tofu and steamed rice. I also have all sorts of Asian sauces (terriyaki, fish sauce, soya, sechuan, peanut sauce etc.), so when you blend it all together, you are left a nice healthy and hearty meal. Other favorite dishes include angel hair pasta topped with broccoli and chicken sauteed with garlic and olive oil, or Tom Yum soup with rice . Tom yum is an AMAZING Thai soup that is super good and pretty inexpensive to make. Ingredients include: fish sauce, lime juice, chicken broth, chili paste, lemon grass, and either shrimp, chicken, tofu...basically anything.

Living
I live in Hoboken, which I guess compared to these people in the story is way cheaper. I live (like so many people I know) with 2 other girls in an apartment, whom I found on craigslist. Lucky for me, they are both cool and live well together.

Out & About
This is where I find my money goes through the quickest. The article is dead on when they mention "pre-gaming" before going out because it is absolutely a must. My friends and I try to look for the open bars and good happy-hour specials, where drinks will end up being way cheaper. We also look for free readings and events that we are not only interested in, but know will be serving wine & cheese.

I could go on & on, but seriously, if your a creative person and want everything that NYC has to offer, there is ALWAYS a way. Looking back, I'm sure I'll chuckle at my twenty-something self that chose to eat the same thing every single day in favor of going out all weekend instead.

Customer Service DOES NOT mean Customer Servant!

In preperation for my friend Courtney's wedding (which is on Saturday. And yes I am a bridesmaid, my very first time), I decided to go get a manicure & pedicure during my lunch break today. And what a treat it was. I hardly get my nails done, so a nice foot massage and pretty nails is always a wonderful luxury.

So I sat in a magical massage chair, smiling away as the Asian lady massaged my feet, but couldn't help but over hear what was going on to my left. The girl next to me was probably some sort of office worker, based on her trousers & blouse (which is the only place you wear and can actualy describe your attire as a "blouse" and "trousers"), horrible highlighted hair, and a mean look to her. T&B barked to her Russian nail woman, "I want a french manicure, but you MUST cut my nails"!!!!

RNW: (in Russian accent) eeef you vant a fracht manicure, I ghcan not cut your nails. it von't work.

T&B: Well I need them to be cut, they are going over my sandals and making it very uncomfortable to walk. FINE (she said, while shooing the Russian with one hand and typing feverishly on her blackberry with the other), just paint them pink please. I don't have all day.

HORRIFIED. That's all I can say. This got me thinking. Obviously, she had never worked in customer service because if she did, would have known THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TREAT PEOPLE. If you have never been in the position of working in a restaurant, store, or anywhere else where you work for the people, you may think they in fact are your slave, or I guess technically your servant because you are paying them. Well your wrong. Wrong wrong wrong!

Having been a waitress on & off for just about 9 years or so (yup started out at the tender age of 16, serving the masses at the House of Coffee), I have seen it all, ranging from the nicest customers you could ever hope for to the ones that degrade you so lowly that you want to cry and then shove your 10% tip back in their pocket. Seriously, why is it the ones who treat you poorly tip so badly? Oh, because they never worked in the food industry and don't realize you get paid $3 an hour and depend on the tip. AND obviously have no consideration for their fellow human beings.

Phewww I need to take a minute to breath....

Ok,

There are only a few get of jail free cards for people to be obnoxious.

1) The Russians. While working at Siam Garden (A Thai place I worked at for years & years), we had a huge Russian client base (I know, random). They always barked orders and snapped, demanded things right away. Any other person in the world I would have murdered, but ahh the Russians. They paid in cash & tipped amazingly. As long as you were quick and able to deal with their bullshit, it was always worth it.

2) People who have horrible and strange allergies (nuts and gluten I would say are the worst). These are the types who ask for annoying requests and modifications, but feel so bad, and don't get angry for waiting alittle longer because they want something not on the menu.

3) People who have children. If I was to see children walking through the door, would stop dead in my tracks and beg and plead in my mind that it wasn't my turn in the rotation. But it always was. In which case, it better be at an early time as not to annoy the other guests, the family of children better move along quickly, and NOT make a mess.

How many times have I had to deal with parents who would just shrug and nervously giggle a"oh I'm sorry for the mess".... PICK UP AFTER YOUR CHILD. I am not you OR your child's house keeper. The only way to keep me at peace is to eat quickly, tip normally, and leave promptly.

I'm telling you, if I ever have the opportunity to own a restaurant, there will be a sign in the window that says:

THIS IS NOT A CHILD FRIENDLY ESTABLISHMENT.
There are NO Booster Seats.
NO Highchairs.
NO Children's menu.
and NO admittance of strollers or children after 6
: ) Thank you and enjoy your meal.

That being said, karma is a bitch. Be nice to your server. They are ones performing a duty for you, whether it be serving your meal, doing your nails, giving the massage, and so on. Kindness goes a long way. I know I put WAY more effort into those who treat me with respect when I'm in my server shoes. And let me tell you, I have seen some horrible things other waiters and waitresses have done to customers when treated poorly.

Sounds About Right...

Last night we went out and about for Nina's birthday. Before meeting up with some people for dinner, Nina, her friend Mary, & I popped by P.S. for a few drinks and some business men started to chat us up.

The usual break-the-ice conversations proceeded: How old are you? Where do you live? Where do you work? Have you ever been here before? What are your plans tonight? And so on.

Then one of the business man pointed at me & Mary, while asking Nina, "so what do they do?"

Nina replied, "Well Mary is in charge of lots of things and keeps things in order. Sometimes she tells people what to do".

"And Kristine, she writes blogs and eats sour patch kids!"

Yup. That sounds just about right.

25 Year Old Spinster....??

As you may have figured, I am very picky when it comes to the guys I date. Well, I wouldn't say necessarily picky, but I absolutely listen to my gut and don't just "try things out" if I'm not sure. I'd rather be in 100% and absolutely smitten. What happens in the 50/50 cases? I get bored, disappointed with myself, cold and distant one day and happy the other. Eventually I end up screwing around with someone's mind, leaving them with thoughts of "what happened" and obviously cursing the day they ever met and fell for me.

That being said, I tend to be single more than I am taken. And that's fine. I'd rather wait for something amazing and wonderful, instead of having mediocre bleh boyfriends. So it really amazes me when people who are older ( married or seriously attached) find it's their duty (on purpose or just by un-intentionally making conversation) to not only ask you why, but comfort you that someday you will find someone and give helpful ways to go about meeting people

Exhibit A: Mother's Day Weekend

This weekend in particular was a mad-scene. Not only was it Mother's Day, but it was also my friend Courtney's Bachelorette Party. I wondered how it would work out going to a Bachelorette Party the night before a Mother's Day brunch. I assumed obviously drink-portion control was out of the question and would have to suck it up and be miserable the entirety of Sunday.

I rushed around Saturday afternoon, getting ready, buying gifts for Court and my Mom, and somehow got to her parent's house just in the nick of time to have a drink and chat some people up.

When everyone arrived, we loaded into cars and headed for dinner at this place The Inlet Cafe in The Highlands. I'd never eaten there before, so was very pleasantly surprised to the Cajun Feast (yum miscellaneous sea foods in a spicy Cajun sauce) for an appetizer, followed by an entree of angel hair pasta with lobster and asparagus tips in a tasty possible Parmesan type of sauce and a cheese burger split between me and my friend Geraldine. Doesn't get better than that.

After a stolio-o and club or three, I stood up and headed into the bathroom when surprise, who was waiting on line? The mother of the bride! I have known Mrs. O'Callaghan for years and years (spent the mas-majority of 1995-2000 at their home), so naturally, we started chatting about the wedding and life etc.

Me: I can't believe they are getting married so soon. It has really snuck up! Wow two weeks away (something like that).

Mrs. O: Well they have been dating for 7 years, it was time (again something along the lines of that). And your next! Do you have anyone special or....

Saved. A stall freed up and Mrs. O'Callaghan went in. I breathed a sigh of relief. What would I have said otherwise? *awkward laugh* haha no, no.... no one special. But you know, I'm looking. bleh blah

Lies lies. I'm not looking to get married. I keep my eyes open for people I can stand more than 5 minutes. But how do you tell that to a mom without sounding like a horror and obnoxious?

So the bachelorette party came and went. Very good time. We took a limo down to a shore spot and danced the night away.

The next morning I awoke around 6, fully dressed, laying on top of my purse, in my old bedroom at my parent's house. I wasn't hungover, but could see it emerging if I didn't hydrate myself within the next few minutes. So I raced downstairs, gulped down some water, brought some up with me, and went back to sleep. Around 8, I woke up again and figured I should take a shower so I could let my hair dry while I slept.

Surprisingly, by the time we left for the "Mothers & Others" party at my mom's friend Andreas', I was feeling good and hoping there would be some nice wine at this fiesta.

Wrong. 3 choices:White Merlot, White Zinfandel, & Budweiser. Thanks a lot Andrea.

But the food spread was great and I happily mingled with the group of guests and ate my little heart out. Before we got to the party, my mom warned me of this one couple who were kind of weird and that I may or may not like. When we did eventually meet, you could tell instantly that they were socially awkward and hard to believe 1/2 of what they said because it was all TOO MUCH. Their form of chit-chat was so so forced and practiced, as if they rehearsed on the way to the party. And soooo loopy - Come on, they do tai-chi, brought pictures of their plants from home, and the woman wore a kimono and spoke all new-agey, but way too polite. It's hard to explain. Next time you run into me , ask. I do a really good impersonation.

Of course these are my favorite types of characters, the people I just can't understand, so ended up talking to them quite a bit that day.

The good questions the woman asked me:

So tell me Kristine, what is it like being young now-a-days?

Where are the great places to eat in Hoboken? My husband and I have NEVER been there, but what happens if we drove through? It would be nice to have a list of places just in case, you never know.

You should be happy to be as spiritually evolved as yourself. How lucky it is to have a mother likes yours. Tell me, how does it feel to have grown up in such an open and spiritual home?And then:

Tell me, how are the men now? From the single girls point of view? How is it? Tell me I'm so fascinated.

So of course I got in a shpeil about the lack of guys and how I haven't met anyone mildly entertaining in a while , how I like being single, don't want to get married for a while, want to settle in my career before any thoughts of settling down come into play blah blah, totally putting up a defence because what was I going to do? Just shrug and say fine fine, which could have been confused with sadness and bad-self esteem? Hell no. I wanted her to regret asking such a dumb question.

THEN came the finale. I was getting tired and so casually told/reminded my mom -I need to go back to Hoboken, let's go let's let's go!!!! As we began to say our goodbye's, the woman said to me, while placing her hand on my shoulder,

"Kristinnnnne, I've been meaning to tell you (all very drawn out and dramatic), I met my husband in a personal ad and we've been together for 10 --- looong --- years. My mother did the same. So I wanted to tell you there's hope. There's still hope".

I reply, "oh haha that's great," all the while giving my mother the ARE YOU KIDDING ME, WHAT THE HELL ARE WE STILL DOING HERE eye. "Thank you, thank you for the words of encouragement".

So does it come down to show us that there is no use of a defense because at the end of the day, once you reach a certain age, no matter where you are in life or how much you protest to settling, the only right way is to be coupled and paired? Should I be, at 25, stored away and compartmentalized? In which case, I am immediately fleeing the country in search of a single girl island where independence is praised and marriage is in no rush. Where to? Maybe Australia?What are their views there? Definately something to look into...